NARRATOR: It is a very special day in Bikini Bottom.
SPONGEBOB: I'm ready!
(singsongy): I'm ready, I'm ready.
Patrick, did you bring my flash cards?
Right here, buddy.
Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards.
Mmm. (gulps)
No, Patrick! Hey.
Learning tastes good.
Patrick, I needed those.
Oh, fiddlesticks.
You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.
57 times.
Well, then, 58 is your lucky number.
You're going to pass that driving test, SpongeBob,
because you're a winner.
I'm a winner?
Who's a winner? I'm a winner.
Who's a winner?
I'm a winner.
Who's a winner?!
I'm a winner! I'm a winner!
I'm a winner!
(sobbing)
How'd you do, winner?
(sobbing)
Let's see that license.
I didn't get a license, Patrick.
Are they going to mail it to you? No, Patrick,
I failed the boating test.
I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.
No way!
58 is, like, the luckiest number ever!
The test must be rigged.
Let's just go home, Patrick.
We're not going anywhere
until I get to the bottom of this.
I'm taking that test myself.
No, Patrick.
I've been training for years.
They'll eat you alive.
Please, SpongeBob.
I think I know what I'm doing.
No, Patrick.
No!
Good morning.
You're not the judge of me.
Actually, I am.
Let the testing begin.
I shouldn't have let him do it.
What kind of friend am I?
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
I'm here for you, buddy.
I passed my test!
You got a perfect score?
Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.
Perfect score.
Come on.
I've got to get my picture taken for my new license.
Stand behind the line, sir.
How do I look?
Like a winner.
Ready? Ready.
(cheering)
Huh?
Congratulations, Mr. Star.
You're the one millionth person to pass the test.
Does that mean I get a free key chain?
Uh, no. Oh.
You get
a brand-new boatmobile.
The new Bass Blaster 3000. (clanks)
The ultimate boating machine.
Yeah! All right!
Women will want you.
(all sigh)
Men will want to be you.
(all sigh)
You'll be the envy of your friends.
(groaning)
Isn't this great?
I got my license
and a new boat.
I'm... so... happy... for... you.
("La Cucaracha" melody plays)
Whoa!
The horn works.
Whoo!
This is the greatest day ever.
Right, SpongeBob?
Right, Patrick.
I can't think of one thing
that would make this day better,
except maybe getting my license.
Maybe if you apply yourself, you could be
the two millionth person to get his license.
Two millionth?
Then you can get a free boat just like me.
Yeah, just like you.
l try to serve as an inspiration to others.
Can we go home now?
We've been driving around your house for hours.
PATRICK: I know!
It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?
Thanks for the ride, Patrick.
No problem, buddy.
You can't help being a... pedestrian.
(shudders)
(tires screeching)
(groaning)
(snoring)
(engine revving)
Patrick, what are you doing?
I'm trying to work on my boatmobile.
Now could you keep it down?
It's 3:00 in the morning, people are trying to sleep!
(groans)
4:00.
(yawns)
(doorbell rings)
Who could be at the door at this hou...
(SpongeBob shouting)
Now what is it, Patrick?
You will never guess what happened to me today.
You got your license?
Yeah!
But that's not all.
You got a new boat?
Yeah.
Have you been following me?
You know, you need to get your own life.
Oh... I just need a few minutes sleep.
(foghorn alarm blowing)
(meows)
Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat.
So tired.
(horn beeping)
Hey, buddy.
Need a ride to work?
Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work.
Boy, I never realized
how empty life is without a license.
Thanks for the ride.
No problem, buddy.
You can give me rides
once you get your license.
I mean, if you get your license.
That's it.
I am through driving around with Patrick.
If I have to see one more boatmobile...
SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.
When did we get a drive-thru?
I realized there's a lot of young people
on the go these days.
They don't have time to sit down and eat.
They're too busy out on the open road,
living their dreams.
I used to have a dream.
Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone.
Everything passes eventually.
Now stop dreaming and work for a living.
Welcome to The Krusty Krab, may I take your...
(horn plays "La Cucaracha," SpongeBob screams)
The horn still works.
(tires screeching)
Hey, SpongeBob.
What's with the helmet, Patrick?
Well, since I'm now an expert driver,
I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue)
Uh-huh.
Boy, driving is so easy.
Oh?
Do you want me to give you lessons?
Oh, that would be great.
Oh!
Patrick!
Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy.
Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you
we're SpongeBob's mom and dad, not yours?
What? I'm an orphan?
Oh, but guess what?
I passed my driver's test.
That's great, Patrick.
SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.
Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.
Mom!
Well, I've got to take
Mr. Walks-a-Lot back home.
He's always asking for rides.
Hey.
Even Patrick has a license.
(both sighing)
Let's see what this baby can do.
(tires screeching)
Patrick, the speed limit is 40 miles per hour.
Yeah, yeah.
40 1/2 miles per hour.
That's almost 41 miles per hour.
He's speeding.
Patrick!
Stop this car.
(tires squealing)
What, where, who?
Officer, it is my civic duty to report
that the driver of this vehicle is speeding.
Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?
Um, okay.
Actually he's going 40 miles under the limit.
So move along, before I run you in, tattletale.
Are you sure you don't want to run him in?
It's a red light, Patrick!
(screaming)
(tires squealing)
Patrick, you just ran three red lights!
So?
You're supposed to stop.
I think the driving genius knows what he's doing.
Driving genius?!
Would a genius make an illegal U-turn through an orphanage?!
They ran for it in time.
What are you so mad about?
I should have gotten that license!
And this should be my boatmobile!
How can you say that?
lf you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license.
If you were my friend,
you wouldn't rub your license in my face!
l'm not rubbing my license in your face.
This is rubbing my license in your face!
(muffled yelling)
Oh, give me that!
I worked my whole life for this!
You don't deserve this!
(laughing)
Huh. Litterbugs.
This is why I joined the force.
(siren wailing)
BOTH: It's the police!
(over speaker): Pull it over, litterbug!
Litterbug?
No!
Ooh, I got me a runner.
Patrick, what do you think you're doing?!
I don't know!
l don't have a license anymore.
(tires squealing)
Look out!
(both screaming)
Whoa!
(sirens wailing)
(both screaming)
(screaming continues)
(sirens wind down)
90 days!
And I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.
So long, buddy.
Don't forget to feed Gary.
Sometimes you forget to feed him.
What have I done?
Patrick can't survive in prison.
He's too soft.
Wait!
Patrick's innocent.
I tore up Patrick's license
and threw it out the window.
I'm the litterbug.
Take me instead.
Well, considering there's no legal precedent...
Oh, what the heck.
90 days!
(door buzzes)
Patrick!
SpongeBob!
I'm glad you passed the test.
I'm glad you have a license.
And to prove it, I made you this.
"Pals 4 Ever."
Let's put it on your boatmobile, buddy.
Oh, I don't have a boatmobile anymore.
What?
It stopped working,
so I threw it away.
The needle was on "E."
Yeah, I figured that must mean "end."
Oh, then what do we do with this?
How's that?
Yeah!
Ready, buddy?
Ready, pal.
(imitating gears shifting)
Whoo! Whoo!